The 2013 Oireachtas

I have been procrastinating this post.  It's true.  I am still not 100% okay with how my Oireachtas day turned out.  I know I don't usually use this blog to make my displeasure known, but I can't avoid writing about the Oireachtas because it it a part of my dance journey.  I made a promise to myself that is what this blog is for, and now that I have readers who care, I can't just pretend it didn't happen.

The long and short of it is I'm not a world qualifier.  Again.  And for the fourth time in a row, I was within mere places of qualifying.

When the announcer skipped over my number, I said "What?!" out loud.  I knew I had it, and couldn't believe it.  All day long, I was so looking forward to being called on stage before the placements were awarded.  I had danced my best.  I maintained my health all year long, and was achieving my goals outlined for the year.  Something within me was so confident that I would be up there, but that something was terribly wrong.

Awards was tough.  It took all of my willpower to hold myself together on stage.  Of course after being disappointed for the fourth year in a row, I found it very difficult to hide that emotion.  I am only human, though my solo dress makes it seem otherwise.  I received an on-stage pep talk from one of my TCs; it's the only moment of the day I wish I could remember in full detail.

I cried through a good part of the teams awards, finally able to pull it together by the time my 4-hand and figure choreography were called to hear our placements (8th and 2nd).  As I was pulling myself together, I was able to buy my scores, and in the end, it was my set.  My set of three years (and much careful polishing) dropped me by six placements.  I had it until then, and knowing what caused my disappointment is crushing, nearly as crushing as seeing dancers I had consistently placed above all season, beat me out at this one event.

As I was driving back to my house from the Oireachtas (they were local this year), the question on my mind was, “Why do I keep doing this if I constantly fall short of my goals?”  I had a very lively debate with myself.  I was so absorbed in figuring out the answer to this question as I was driving down the interstate that I missed the exit for my house.

Ultimately, I decided that when I dance, I know that everything is right in my world.  My life could be up in shambles, but when I am dancing, I know that everything will be okay.  Dance is my thing.  I keep dancing because when I dance, nothing else matters.  I will get myself that qualification one day.  It may be this fifth year of chasing the goal, it may be the next, but until then, I will enjoy every moment of this journey I have created for myself.

Goals: PT exercises every other day
Days till Os: 268

North American Nationals, Dancing Edition

Let's take a trip back to January of this year when I set my goals:

For 2013, my goals include to:

• Continue to improve my turnout and cross technique in my dancing, 
• Begin to place more consistently in my competitions at feiseanna,
• Recall at nationals, and ultimately
• Qualify for the world championships as a soloist.

At my first Oireachtas, my biggest confidence boost happened the morning of my competition when I was warming up. I felt that same way the morning of my solo day at nationals.  Before my hard shoe round, I was in a photo on livestream taken by the gorgeous Ciara Sexton (who's outfits were classy all week long!).  I had two fairly solid rounds, even with being the first person in round two!

After the seniors finished their two rounds, my group decided it was time for lunch, so we went to grab some Baja Fresh and chill, figuring we had somewhere around two hours before they announced recalls.  I went back to the hall immediately after eating, not wanting to miss a second, while others went to their room briefly.  I laid on the floor, trying to rest or nap, be calm, and wait for the announcement of when recalls would be announced.

Without warning, a lady announced over the microphone that she had the recalls, and started reading immediately.  Never has anyone jumped off the floor faster than me.  I scrambled to get my program and pen to circle those who recalled, and waited with bated breath as the numbers got closer and closer to 31.  My number was called.  I may had said something along the lines of, "Oh my God," but mostly I started crying and shaking.  I have finally checked off one of two long-term goals I have had for myself:  I finally recalled at nationals.

There was an immense calm that I felt that afternoon and evening.  The kind of calm and sense of accomplishment that can only come with reaching a long-term goal.  I felt no pressure when I went back on the nationals stage for a third time to dance my set.  I looked out into the hall and saw, well, mostly people who don't know who I am, but the small core of dance teachers and friends who helped me get to this moment were there, and that's where my focus was.

The last time I stepped foot on the nationals stage was to receive my medal for placing 38th.  I am completely happy with cracking the top 40, and I was only five spots away from being a world qualifier.  I could tell my dance teachers were proud of me (and of course wanting more for next time!).  I am looking forward to working hard this fall so I receive that world qualification at the Southern Region Oireachtas this December.

Goals: Start building stamina again.
Days til Os: 128

Pre-Nationals Mini Update

Nationals: Here I go, off to my second north american championship!

• My goal is to recall, but I don't think I'll be bothered if I don't.  I have made excellent progress in my dancing since the Oireachtas, and I'm feeling good about where I stand, regardless of a nationals recall or not.  I'm trying to take this major with a no-pressure attitude.
• I'm looking forward to spending a relaxing five days in California at essentially a convention for one of my favorite things in the world.  I'm traveling alone, so Disneyland is probably out of the picture, but I'm hoping to spend lots of time pool-side with a book and an adult beverage when I'm not dancing, and/or making new dance friends.
• I won second place in the last instagram contest!  My prize is a photoshoot with Prine Photography while I'm in Anaheim, and also to be featured on the poster they are making.  Now, do I go buy a toy Cap shield for this?  I'm thinking yes.

• If you see me (or a version of me being Captain America), don't hesitate to say hi!  I arrive on the 4th (tomorrow!), dance in senior ladies A split on the 6th, and leave on the 8th.  I will be doing my best to send many updates through social media as I can in Anaheim. [Follow Rince go Bragh on twitter] [Follow sekubik on instagram]

Old Dominion Feis

• I placed 6th in open champs out of 15 dancers!  This continues to be a huge confidence boost for me, not only because I actually placed in open for the second time in my life, but especially so since my dad took a video of my set and it actually sounds fabulous!  After three years, my set is really becoming awesome.  I hope I can dance it at nationals.
• All three of my teams dances won!
• My social media updates were awesome (if I do say so myself).

Happy girl.

Goals: Don't become a head case
Days till NANs: 3

The Oireachtas (solos)

The Star Spangled Girl With the Curls makes an appearance!

Something about the Oireachtas morning warm up session had me off.  I kept confusing my second and third treble jig step as I ran through them.  Getting on stage to actually dance my treble jig, all that I forced to go through my brain was my body knows what to do, stop brain-ing it up.  So what did I do?  I forgot how the beginning of my third step went on the left foot.  Right in front of my TCRG and one of the judges. (Who I happened to meet in the elevator that morning and she consequently told me to stretch out and travel because the stages were huge.)  I knew I at least had a solid second round.  I could not have nailed my slip jig any more than what I did that Saturday.  Of all the times I wish I had a video of myself dancing, that would be the moment I want on film.  My stamina didn't give out.  I smiled.  I was so magnificently confident in how I danced.

Maple senior dancers

Waiting for recalls was a time for multi-tasking.  The senior ladies received a participators' patch.  We took pictures with the Christmas scenery.  I prepared another senior dancer's make up for teams later that afternoon.  I managed to stuff down half of a roast beef sandwich for lunch.  I knew that this was one of the last moments of calm to myself during the day, as I had three team dances to get through yet, so I isolated myself to get my thoughts in order for my set.

I have a history of weak set dances at Oireachtas.  In 2010, I died so much at the end of Drunken Gauger that I missed a part at the end.  With last year's Planxty Drury, I lacked rhythm.  With this year's Planxty Drury, I danced hard, but I missed so may beats that unless the judges were deaf (they weren't), I would be docked.  It's all because of my catch-22: to dance now, I have to tape my ankles.  If I tape my ankles, I miss trebles because my ankles are restricted.  I loosened the tape, but still I have troubles.

I am so not impressed.

Again, I met personal disappointment as solo results were called that evening.  Being the last number on the program, I waited with bated breath through all the other numbers, watching my friends be named as world qualifiers.  When the announcer called "...and number 81," I could feel the reality of my own personal let down sink into my stomach.  As I was coming to terms with yet another year of not qualifying, the group waiting backstage became smaller and smaller. All I could hope for was not 16th.  Not again, for the third year in a row did I want to be the first non-qualifier.  I was announced as 19th, so I took the stage with my fellow senior ladies to watch the rest of the results unfold.

It took until the next day for it to sink in that I had only been preparing since October, due to spending most of the year injured.  With all that, I still placed 19th.  I haven't improved much in my placements, but I also didn't do any worse than before injuries.

Goals: Learn hornpipes/reels
Days till NANs: 205

Bonus: Watch the senior ladies' results!

Blog Challenge: Confidence at my first Oireachtas

This month's blog challenge by The Dance Buzz is a writing prompt: "Dance is both confidence building and humbling.  Write about a time you experienced either."

The last dance practice before my first Oireachtas was one of those rare times in my dance career that everything felt like it had clicked into place.  I remember going through each and every one of my dances and just feeling like I was nailing everything.  I knew I wasn't the best dancer going to compete, but there was this part of me deep down that knew I was good enough to recall.  Even though it was my first Oireachtas.  And I had only been dancing for two years.  At the end of class, I asked my fellow dancers and  my TCRG if there are any tips, what to expect, etc.  I was told that I had put in so much work so I should go enjoy it, have fun, and to do my best.

Putting on my game face before warming up.

The morning of my solo competition, I was completely on time with getting ready.  Equipped with my iPod, I had given myself an hour to find an isolated spot in the venue to warm up and get in the zone.  This was surprisingly easy.  I went into this competition without putting pressure on myself, so it was just me and the dance.  I wasn't worried about recalling.  It would be nice if I did, but I knew it was my first Oireachtas, so I was just there to showcase my best dancing.  As I was warming up, I still felt that super confidence in each stretch and every drill I did.  One of my feis-mates was watching from afar and even complimented my on my improvement.  With one last listen to my inspirational song, I was off to dance my first round, treble jig.

There is one moment of dancing that stands out for me from this competition.  It is the first few seconds of my second round, slip jig: And one two switch, step over down... I experienced this sensation in my first leap of hanging in the air for what seemed like an eternity.  I could see everything happening from my point of view on the stage, but I could also see this perfect leap both from above and from the audience's view.  To this day, I cannot remember a better leap, a better single moment of dancing.

After finishing my two rounds and having lunch, recalls were finally going to be announced.  I was standing by a wall in the hall right next to a younger dancer (my feis sister) from my school and her mom.  The announcer began reading off the numbers of the dancers who have recalled and would dance their set dance in the next and last round.  I couldn't breathe.  1, 2... Had I danced well enough? ...3, 4... Could the judges tell it was my first Oireachtas? ...6, 7... What was my number again? ...9, 10... Oh, 18, it's right here in my hand. ...16, 17, 18.  My knees gave way, I was sitting on the floor crying and being tackled by my feis sister and her mom.  I did it.  I had just recalled at my first Oireachtas.

Goals: Slip jig lead.  Make one.

Days till Os: 165

Oireachtas 2011

The Oireachtas is over. It was such a nice mini-cation, being able to experience nice Florida winter weather (I ate lunch outside in short sleeves!), staying in the Ritz-Carlton (and so did Justin Beiber apparently, did anyone confirm this?), and most of all, being able to spend time with all the lovely people who I have come to know from dance! With that, here's my breakdown of Saturday:

My first two rounds felt really solid, despite a re-start in my first round on the left foot of the lead. (just like last year!) After wandering around, watching my fellow dancers in other competitions, I barely made it back for recalls and walked into the room just as they were starting their second read through of names. It was with a sigh of relief that I sat down right as they were calling out my number. Relief. I had recalled for the third time, and my goal of being a world qualifier was still alive. I knew from the second I started dancing that my set was much weaker than my first two rounds. Just like last year. I shook it off, deciding that it was good enough with no glaring flaws, so my goals were still within reach. It was then time for senior lady pictures to showcase my new dress! (which got lots of compliments!)

The afternoon was spent preparing for and dancing my one team dance. Compared to the stressful morning with solos, it was nice to be around a more relaxed atmosphere with other dancers who were not super high stress sort of mood. We had enough time to goof around and take picture afterward before I dropped stuff off and change back into my solo gear for awards.

All the older dancers who danced day were able to secure a spot all together for awards, which is way better than just sitting alone with your family. You'll have to understand, this feat was quite amazing. Because Saturday was the day for all the teams, essentially the entire southern region was in the hall, making it very crowded (and also, I'm sure, a fire hazard). My fellow dancers found open seats before the figure choreographies and nabbed a spot on a stage adjacent to the main stage, where we could easily view the remaining team dances, and the awards that followed.

Waiting backstage was the most stressful things of the weekend. All of the senior dancers from my school decided it would be good to congregate and make a spirit circle to support all of us who danced that day. They started with U18 boys, working their way up the age groups. As the competitions were called, the strain of the wait was mounting on both myself and the other senior ladies who had so much riding on this competition. I could not stand still. I knew that if I qualified for worlds, (and I was so close last year, how could I not?) my number would be the first called. I waited. I couldn't breathe. The first number they called was the number after mine. Disbelief. I did not achieve the one thing I have been working for for months.

The 17 world qualifiers took the stage, and I could only stand there and wonder where I was going to place this time. The number of dancers around me quickly got smaller and smaller as they called up the placements, until I was the last senior lady left. One away from world qualifier. Again. With a hug from my dance teacher, I took the stage to receive yet another Oireachtas medal and to smile for the cameras.

I know not all hope is lost, and that I can still qualify if there are any judging conflicts (like last year), but I know that I will not be going this year regardless, and it would have been nice to actually earn that world qualifier plaque and have the knowledge that if I wanted to go, I could. I will attend NANs this summer, and will be working hard to try and get a recall, if not very close to one. I will be an unstoppable force.

Goals: Learn new SJ/TJ steps

Days till NANs: 211

Practice. It's what's for dinner.

This past Friday, I applied for my first U.S. passport. This whole going overseas thing? Is surreal. I have never been out of the U.S. in my life. Who would've known that when I started dancing three and a half years ago that I would be travelling to Ireland to compete in the world championships? That was not my goal or even an ulterior motive. I started dancing simply to dance, and now here I am, three years later at the top level of competitive Irish dancing.

This all just goes to show that hard work and practice pay off kiddos.

Beginner+ 20 minutes of practice 3 days a week for 3 months= Advanced Beginner in all your dances at your next feis.

Advanced Beginner+ 30 Minutes of practice 3 days a week for 3 months= Novice in your stronger set of dances, high placements in all the rest.

Novice+ 45 minutes of practice a day for 6 months= Open Prizewinner, Baby.

Prizewinner+ 1 hour of practice 3 days a week for a year= Preliminary

Preliminary+ 1 Hour of practice 4 days a week for a year= Open Championship

Open Championship+ 1 Hours of Practice a day (even on class days) for 2 years= Worlds Recall

So, according to my fellow blogger, IrishDanceTeacher, I am right on track to become a worlds recaller in five years, meaning two years from now, and that these statements have some validity to them. But let's get real here for a second. I am in my last two semesters of college. This semester I will be preparing for my music ed. voice recital, my MTEC II, VCLA, and Praxis II, while working 15 hours a week and remaining active in my sorority. In the fall, I will be student teaching and probably working 10 hours a week. Will I practice every day for the next two years? No. But maybe that just means I will never get a recall at worlds, and you know what? I don't care. Just saying I am able to participate in that sort of event is quite prestigious and a feat to be congratulated no matter what.

Goals: Turnout, finish learning Drunken Gauger

Days till worlds: 88

The Oireachtas, Part 1

What. A. Day.

This year marked my first Oireachtas marathon. I woke up at 4:30 am (!) to get myself ready and drive to solos at 8 am. I danced my 4-hand around 1 pm. I danced figure around 6 pm (more about figure in another post). Awards were over around 9 pm. Home and in bed by midnight.

I hope I never have to do that again.

Solos:

All in all, I don't think my first two rounds were too shabby. I did get a re-start in my treble jig because of one of the girls I was dancing with fell. Luckily it was in the first eight bars, and also luckily, she was not injured, and it wasn't from us hitting one another. I was surprised my this in my treble jig, how even though we were dancing three at a time, that we pretty much avoided one another. Although, I can dominate the stage if I want to, so maybe the other two girls just didn't have as much domination power as me. Slip jig was a little more daunting, as I was dancing against last year's 4th place winner. I figured I had some chance here, my slip jig is better than my treble jig... We did have some almost collisions, but both of us were trying to dominate the stage. Still. I walked off stage feeling so confident about being recalled.

I think one of the coolest things about my solo competition is that there were a grand total of seven dancers from my school. And we all recalled. For two of the girls, it was their first ever Oireachtas recall, and a cause for celebration. Clearly, all those dreams I had been having the month prior to the Oireachtas of total Maple recall came true.

I was pretty disappointed in my set. I did not dance it was well as I usually do, which is saying something because my hard shoe is pretty weak. At one point near the end, I fell off pointe, and I was in general missing clicks and trebles all over the place. I walked off stage feeling terrible about it.*

After dancing around all day, it was kind of rewarding (?) to mingle backstage with my fellow senior ladies while the senior men's competition was being announced. We were finally done and here to reap the benefits. As the senior men exited the stage, we moved into side stage position in the usual circle while the world qualifiers (WQ) are announced. From here on, everything went by so fast. Yes, I wanted so bad to qualify, and even hoped a bit too much that I did. No, I did not actually qualify, but three other dancers from my school did. The next thing I knew, the other dancers from my school were leaving, and then my name was called. I didn't even know what I was walking on the stage for. I was pointed to stand on one side, and so I did. The only things I remember after this was Nora winning and Bill hugging me, and then we were all getting off the stage. At that point, I still didn't know what place I had gotten. I don't know if lack of focus was from disappointment or exhaustion (maybe both). It took me until the next day, and even the day after** for it to sink in that I had won 15h place! And hey! Three away from WQ! Not bad for your second Oireachtas...

...until two days after the Oireachtas, when I decided to hop on the message boards and see whats up. Much to my chagrin, I come across a post about WQs and senior ladies. Apparently the wrong formula was used, and the new WQs are up to 14th place! And guess who got 15th... This past week I have been living on the edge between being super excited that I am one away from being a WQ at my second Oireachtas, and being really frustrated in being only one place away. I have been going through my steps, thinking if I hadn't fallen off pointe, or if I didn't dance with the 4th place winner...

...until Monday (yesterday) when I received a text message about world adjudicators...

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

*Clearly it was ok. I was 15th after recalls, and stayed 15th after sets, meaning my set didn't hurt me, but it also didn't help either.

**I was extremely dehydrated after dancing all day, and realized that I didn't drink any water after my solo competition was done around lunch time. I call this my Oireachtas hangover, as Idisplayed all the symptoms the day after I danced, despite having no alcohol the night before.

The Oireachtas.

Feis report: Southern Region Oireachtas
Saturday:
It all started out VERY early after our late flight in on Friday night. It was nice when I finally got to the Sheraton to warm up. I got to be in my own world and psych myself up by doing the best warm up ever; I felt ready for the first time since I decided I was going to go to the Os. I think I did my best dancing ever that day. I felt so confident getting up on stage for heavy round, and knew as I get off that I did my best (while struggling to breathe; the carpet fibers were in the air, on shoes, everywhere). My light shoe round was amazing. Have I mentioned that I feel like flying when I do my slip jig? Well, I floated around the stage and again, felt amazing when I finished. So amazing, even, that a judge gave me 3rd place out of my entire competiton.
After waiting for two hours, they finally began calling out the numbers of people who recalled, my hear started beating so fast. When they finally called my number, I literally melted on the floor. It was abit overwhelming, and like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I did it; I recalled, surpassing all my goals for the Os and achieving my dreams. Dancing my set was the most fun part of the day. I knew I had recalled, and I wasn't pressured to qualify for worlds, so whatever happened would happen. It was the best set I've ever danced. More waiting ensued. Awards was exciting for everyone; when they called us up to the side of the stage for awards, I was so excited. All of us ladies U20 recallers stood in a circle, holding hands right up until they stated calling up the 12 world qualifiers. By then, each of us was praying for our number to be called... When they finally did call mine, it was one of the most awesome feelings to walk up on that stage and revel in the rewards of my hard work. I never stopped smiling while I was up there. It was the best feeling in the world.

Sunday:
Another early morning, but this time for our little team dance. After all the stress and craziness of Saturday's events, it was nice to have some fun up on the stage. We didn't place in the top half, but I know I had fun dancing. It was also neat to watch the figure choreography (Where we got jipped. Ugh, don't even start) and the dance drama.
Up next: CCE feis, May 30

I can't wait till the next Oireachtas!

Goals: Fix trebles
Days till NANs: 205

So I Welcome Myself Back to the Blogosphere...

(I need something to keep my dancing accomplishments straight. A place for goals and improvements. A place to tell everyone how much I love dance. A place to write about my journey to my first Oireachtas. For if it's written down, it's more likely to get done...)

Current:
Level: Prizewinner. (You non-dancers won't understand what this is, but basically I'm the level under champs. The really good people.)
Long-term goal: Make it to preliminary championships by the end of the year. That, and to recall at the Os for solos, and hopefully do a ceili too!
Thing I love about dance: Watching a group of complete beginners transform to solid dancers in reel and light jig, and knowing it was all because of me. (I teach a beginner class at Wakefield Friday afternoons)
Thing that irks me about dance: Prizewinner competitions. Dancers need somewhere between the Southern Region-required 2 first places, and the individual school-mandated 8 first places. This causes the same girls to win dances over and over again while they wait for that last first, not giving us other girls a chance. It forces us to be competing aganist all but prelim dancers as prizewinners. Fair? Not really. It does have it's good points: us not so good prizewinners now have motivation to really work hard and perfect our dances. This would be proof of that.

(I'm going to get some videos up here to show my current dances, just as soon as I set up my Jubilee tiles arranged correctly in the basement. Hopefully, some progress will be seen between now and the Os!)

Feis report: CCE feis
It was held at Mt. Saint Mary's on Memorial day weekend. I'll say it was my first real feis back since my transfer to Maple (Lady of Knock doesn't count, I didn't have all-Maple steps). I had all new steps for all four dances, and excepting the minor brain fart on my reel, they all went well. I won my treble jig and slip jig, my last two dances I needed to place out of novice (hence the prizewinner status now)! I didn't do so hot in my prizewinner dances (reel and hornpipe). The reel I understand: I screwed up. Hornpipe needs more confidence and sound. Watching my competitors beforehand, I realize how timid my hardshoe is.
Next feis: Old Dominion, June 20

Goals: set up Jubilee floor, make current videos to post
Days till Os: 182