North American Nationals, 2015

Before I get too far into this post, the important thing to know about this year's nationals was that I really did enjoy myself. I enjoyed seeing friends I don't see all that often. I enjoyed watching world-class dancers. I enjoyed the small bit of exploring I did of the charming Providence. I just fear that a lot of this post is going to be talking about the not-so-good parts, so I wanted to state that first and foremost.

Dancing day came around and I was very calm as far as major dance competitions go. Usually I get myself so worked up about 'this is the chance to get that world qualification, so you better do your best,' but not that day. Senior ladies ended up scheduled for July 4th this year, and so my dress received a lot of compliments, and the occasional question about if I ordered a patriotic dress specifically for the day.

I was towards the beginning of the hornpipe round, which was very nice to get it done and over with and not have to wait around for two hours! The downside to that was that my hornpipe really wasn't the best. I over-taped my shoes because I psyched myself out from hearing about how slick the floors were, so my shoes felt sticky. There were screens on either side of the stage broadcasting the dancing to the back of the hall could see, and as I turned to the side on my second and third steps, I could see myself on a one second delay, which threw me off. But I smiled the whole time through!

There was a five hour wait between rounds for me, so after warming up again, I did dance what I felt like was a great reel. I was very proud of how that round felt, and knew that the rest was in the judges hands for the day.

I didn't recall, but that was really okay.

I of course waited around the dancing hall until the awards were given out, and immediately went to purchase the results for my competition upon the completion of the senior lady awards. I was extremely disappointed to find that I ended up tied for 83rd place with many others because we were awarded 0 Irish points. I knew that my hornpipe wasn't it best, but I would have thought my reel at least would have gotten me something. 

So I basically got last place. For the third competition in a row this year.

I think part of the issue is the steps I got in January this year are of a completely new style that I've ever done before. I am especially struggling with the hornpipe and the set. Despite six months of drills, the hornpipe still feels awkward and gets very little sound. Everyone who is an open champ at my school has these same steps, and I'm realizing more and more that Irish dance steps are not one size fits all. I will be asking my TC to see if I can do something that I can pull off consistently, so I can achieve that long-time world qualification goal at Oireachtas.

I thought part of the reasoning for this string of last place was my feis look being too progressive. You know, the no wig, pixie cut, with red or blue bangs to match my dress. I get lots of complements on my hair choice from other feis goers, but through that may have been a factor in my recent last places. After wearing a gorgeous full wig and seeing no improvement, I don't think that's it.

In other news, I leave in a few hours to take part in the inaugural Riverdance Summer Academy in Dublin. There will be WiFi, so I hope to post on Rince go Bragh from Ireland, and possibly from my vacation in London, too! I will for sure be updating the Rince go Bragh Facebook page while I'm there, so make sure you have liked that page to keep up with this fantastic opportunity!

Goals: Have the best time with Riverdance!

Days till Os: 146

The 2014 Oireachtas

Round 1 number check

There's not much I have to say about my solo round from the Oireachtas. They most impressive thing was dancing soft shoe with no brace on for the first time since surgery. These unremarkable rounds led to a rather disappointing result that night with my lowest ever placement. I dropped drastically from placing in the upper 20s to the 34th. I suppose one could say that I made outstanding progress just by recalling at a major championship six months post-op, but I was really working toward a triumphant return by finally world qualifying. Not to mention that the southern senior lady group was incredibly tough this year, but that seems like I'm making excuses. The point is I was very disappointed but I'm getting over it and focusing on having fun while dancing.

My only solo awards picture. They focused heavily on the WQs.

By far, one of the most outstanding stories of the day was the switch from solos to teams. I was one of the last few senior lady sets to be danced. Meanwhile, the 15 and over girls eight hand competition started, despite senior ladies not having finished. My team was due to dance somewhere in the middle of rotation, but I couldn't make it. The stage managers let us dance last, fortunately. Unfortunately that still didn't leave me enough time, and I kept the competition waiting as I changed out of solo hair, make up, and costume. All the 15 and over girls four hand competitions were lined up, and I had to dash my way through them to meet my team side stage. I did not stop walking as I took my spot for the walk on, and our team took the stage! Thank God for the years of practice doing St. Patrick's Day. If we needed to review something as a team, we wouldn't have been half as successful while we danced. That team took seventh overall.

I was a member of two four hands as well, a girls and mixed four. The girls four danced decently and took 17th out of sixty teams. My mixed four hand did shockingly well. We didn't get many opportunities to dance together leading up to the Oireachtas, and we danced with the team that took first, so we thought we were done for. Only one one of our team members saw the recall list, and standing side stage at awards, we began to doubt that our number was really on the list. The closer the announcer got to first place, the more worried we became. We ended up taking fifth and getting a chance to be on the podium! It was a fantastic feeling!

Goals: Don't forget new dances on stage at the feis Sunday
Days till NANs:79

The 2013 Oireachtas

I have been procrastinating this post.  It's true.  I am still not 100% okay with how my Oireachtas day turned out.  I know I don't usually use this blog to make my displeasure known, but I can't avoid writing about the Oireachtas because it it a part of my dance journey.  I made a promise to myself that is what this blog is for, and now that I have readers who care, I can't just pretend it didn't happen.

The long and short of it is I'm not a world qualifier.  Again.  And for the fourth time in a row, I was within mere places of qualifying.

When the announcer skipped over my number, I said "What?!" out loud.  I knew I had it, and couldn't believe it.  All day long, I was so looking forward to being called on stage before the placements were awarded.  I had danced my best.  I maintained my health all year long, and was achieving my goals outlined for the year.  Something within me was so confident that I would be up there, but that something was terribly wrong.

Awards was tough.  It took all of my willpower to hold myself together on stage.  Of course after being disappointed for the fourth year in a row, I found it very difficult to hide that emotion.  I am only human, though my solo dress makes it seem otherwise.  I received an on-stage pep talk from one of my TCs; it's the only moment of the day I wish I could remember in full detail.

I cried through a good part of the teams awards, finally able to pull it together by the time my 4-hand and figure choreography were called to hear our placements (8th and 2nd).  As I was pulling myself together, I was able to buy my scores, and in the end, it was my set.  My set of three years (and much careful polishing) dropped me by six placements.  I had it until then, and knowing what caused my disappointment is crushing, nearly as crushing as seeing dancers I had consistently placed above all season, beat me out at this one event.

As I was driving back to my house from the Oireachtas (they were local this year), the question on my mind was, “Why do I keep doing this if I constantly fall short of my goals?”  I had a very lively debate with myself.  I was so absorbed in figuring out the answer to this question as I was driving down the interstate that I missed the exit for my house.

Ultimately, I decided that when I dance, I know that everything is right in my world.  My life could be up in shambles, but when I am dancing, I know that everything will be okay.  Dance is my thing.  I keep dancing because when I dance, nothing else matters.  I will get myself that qualification one day.  It may be this fifth year of chasing the goal, it may be the next, but until then, I will enjoy every moment of this journey I have created for myself.

Goals: PT exercises every other day
Days till Os: 268